please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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