Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize