I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
