apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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