I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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