wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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