It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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