so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my being single is dangerous.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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