If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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