Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
