some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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