she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
