it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
