Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
