we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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