Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
