How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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