college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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