Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
