It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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