i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize