Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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