I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
