If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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