Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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