Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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