Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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