This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
