ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All the doctor said was why
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
