I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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