they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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