he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
