SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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