I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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