I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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