YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
