Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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