If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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