I bet he comes in French.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
