Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
