Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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