I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
