I have demons in me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
