is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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