alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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