She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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