Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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