just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
