O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
