I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
NoShamevember. You game?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
