Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
