My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
