I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
