it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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