i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
