ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
