Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dicks are not precious.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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