How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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